Stranger than Fanfiction
by Typewriterman
Summary: This is the story of a certain man, doing certain things, over a certain period of time...
1. Intro

_**Stranger than Fanfiction**_

**-written by Typewriterman**

**-based on the story of _Bleach_, created by Tite Kubo**

_An Introduction_

_This is the story of a young man…by Soul Society standards, at least. In comparison to the lives of earth, the life span of a Soul is to compare a grain of sand to the desert. Suffice it to say, it is a vast difference using this definition._

'_What is Soul Society?'_

_You ask?_

_Rather than use a mere definition; words of eloquent description, of a day in the life of a resident of Soul Society should help clear things up. You see, this is the story of the Seventh seat, of the Fourth Divisions, of the Thirteen Court Divisions that protect Soul Society. This is a story about Hanataro Yamada…_

_For as long as he could remember, Hanataro Yamada had been a Shinigami. As part of the Thirteen Court divisions, or the Gotei Thirteen, there was almost nothing else of which he had devoted his life—or after life to, at all. Dressed in the dark uniform of all Shinigami, Hanataro has been charged with the absolute defense of the Soul Society. Not in any way a misnomer, the Soul Society is indeed, a society…for souls._

_Life is but a cycle, you see. Within our temporal realm, where our existence lies currently, life is but a finite experience until our expiration, more commonly known as death. But death is not simply the end. We have afterlives, as our consciousness leaves our corporeal body, and forms a spirit shell, and we become known as a plus. Of course, through our existence, our souls can become tainted, and upon death, our spirit selves are tainted—a minus._

_To be a minus is a torturous existence—save for eternal damnation of hell. But of course, pluses don't always become minuses on their own accord, that is often the fault of the minuses; also known as Hollows because of their lack of conscience…represented by the hole in its chest. But have no fear, for the Shinigami, the Death Gods are sent to lead wandering pluses to Soul Society, and purify the Hollows, who are no more than pluses that have lost their way._

_That is the purpose of the Shinigami, who live to lead souls to Soul Society and to protect it from dangers. It is in this other existence where Souls reside, sometimes centuries at a time. Of course, the protectors do not merely live amongst the common souls; they are centered within the Sereitei, a pure white and medieval-esque fortress, where the protectors monitor and legislate, train and develop their skills. It is also here, where Hanataro Yamada, dressed in the dark uniform of the Shinigami makes his report to the Fourth Squad headquarters._

_Unfortunate to say, Hanataro was seen as quite the bland character by most. Raven hair about an earlobe's length, bangs that covered his face, dull eyes, and an even duller voice. His uniform was not as personalized as his contemporaries or squad mates either. It was neither outstanding nor too unkempt, in fact nothing could really differentiate him amongst a crowd save for a single white sash that reached from right shoulder down to left waist._

_His name was a mix of Tarō Yamada, and Hanako Yamada, both equivalents of John and Jane Doe. To put it simply; even by his name's sake, Hanataro was a nobody. But despite what others thought, Hanataro always kept his head held high…although his shoulders were unbearably slouched. _

_Of course, today would not be just other day for this character, for something quite odd began to happen; and he was quick to notice this strange happening, indeed._

"Did someone say something?" Hanataro stopped in his tracks. Turning his head to look to and fro, he found no one around him in the alley way, and simply shrugged it off. "I guess I'm hearing things…"

_The sun beaming down against the background of a beautiful blue sky, it was a wonder that the white walls that flanked him somehow did not blind his dark eyes as he centered too his previous direction. Walking forward once again, Hanataro continued on his way to the Fourth Division Headq-_

"Hello?" Hanataro stopped a second time. Finding that he was still alone, he began to rush his down the alleyway, and in fact managed to crash through the paper doors unexpectedly.

"What the hell, Yamada!?" a dark spectacled blonde man exclaimed. His brows seethed from behind the dark lenses, and his teeth were in fact, bared angrily.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Hanataro yelled out apologetically.

_Despite the constant anger that came from Third Seat Yasochika Iemura, Hanataro could never argue with the man. In fact, through an amazing and subconscious act of self-hypnosis, he really never noticed the Blonde man's irritation towards him._

"Irritation?" Hanataro tilted his head, and wondered if Third Seat Iemura was self narrating again. "Is that true, Iemura-san?"

_It was too late for Hanataro to retract his statement, for it was only seconds later, that he realized that he did not use the proper honorific._

His eyes bulging, Hanataro began stuttering wildly, in hopes to repeat his sentence correctly.

"Forget it…" the man said irritated. "Unohana-taicho has been waiting for your report all morning."

_Ignoring the constant mumblings of the lower ranking Hanataro, the blonde Iemura huffed at the fumbling Seventh seat as he walked away. "_What an idiot…_" he said under his breath. _

"Huh? Iemura-sama, did you say something just now?" It was just a hunch, but Hanataro could have sworn that someone had mentioned his superior saying something about him.

"N-no!" Iemura said in surprise. "Now get reporting already!"

_It would not have been wise to press the issue further, and Hanataro was indeed tardy for his report. _

"Oh, that's right!" Rushing—although wary of where he was going—Hanataro managed to arrive at the officer's office. Carefully sliding the door, he calmly walked in, to see a dark haired woman in the center of the room.

_The Captain of the Medical and Supply Relief Division, Retsu Unohana is a soft spoken, polite, and caring woman._

Although visibly distracted, Hanataro manages to continue through the motions of a subordinate approaching their Captain, and successfully sat across from her in seiza.

"Yamada-san…_" She smiled as she said this, although what she had to say was of the utmost importance;_ _perhaps if Hanataro had simply forgotten to take off his shoes… _

"Oh, sumimasen, Taicho!" Hanataro yelped out, and quickly took off his wooden shoes. He winced slightly at the slap of wood against wood, but smiled nervously nevertheless.

_The long haired woman smiled at his quick action, although the silver-purple haired Vice-captain's neutral face took a slight negative glance towards him._

"Um, Ohaiyo, Unohana-taicho…Kotetsu-fukutaicho." Hanataro made sure to bow again towards the two women, and shockingly managed to diffuse the situation.

"There was no need to do that a second time, Yamada-san." She smiled again.

_It was possible, that on a day such as this, where the sun shone high in Soul Society, that perhaps beauty was flowing about. The smell of lilacs and other spring scents filtered through the air, intermingling with the incense from the lit stick at the far end of the room. His mind wandered to thoughts of how her flowing hair smelt; perhaps like this homogenous mixtures of smells that filtered into his nostrils…It seemed to poor Hanataro, that his Captain was even more beautiful that she normally looked-_

"What about me!?" Hanataro yelped nervously. Both women look back at him silently; surprised at his sudden outburst.

"Oh, thank you for volunteering, Yamada-san. I too felt that we would be at a loss without Isane-san here, don't you think?"

_Staring back towards the woman, most inwardly flushed, Hanataro smiled weakly at the behest of her soft eyes. _

_What had he just volunteered for? _

"Did…you say something just now, Taicho?"

* * *

**Some words from the Typewriter**

I'm going somewhere different with this story, as you've plainly seen. I haven't read that many "good" Hanataro fics, or even stories featuring him at all!

Well I aim to change that...

-If you haven't noticed yet, _italics _is the narrator...

_**...legalites...**_

-All characters featured have been created by Tite Kubo

-This is a parody based on a certain movie premise...with this in mind, some walls may be broken througout this fic...(especially the fourth one)


	2. Intro pt 2

**Stranger than Fanfiction**

**-written by Typewriterman**

**-based on the story of Bleach, created by Tite Kubo**

_An Introduction (part II)_

_Not knowing what had just happened, worry surfaced on his face, and Hanataro tried to restrain his anxiety as much as possible, especially in front of his Captain…of all the people he could have had a panic attack in front of, why did it have to be in front of her? _

"P-please stop saying those things-" Hanatrao exclaimed.

"Stop what, Yamada-san?" _Looking between each other, the two women nodded in silent agreement. _

"Taicho? Fukutaicho?" _He meekly asked them, quite embarrassed by this turn of events. _"I wouldn't be so embarrassed if you just stopped speaking, please!" Hanataro said sternly toward the wooden ceiling.

"Yamada-san," The brunette Captain began softly, "Have you been sleeping enough lately?" _Her voice laced with concern for him, Hanataro's heart skipped a beat from her acknowledgement. _

"No, no, Unohana-taicho" Hanataro tried to explain"There's no need for you and Kotetsu-fukutaicho to be concerned. Please, I'm more than able to perform the mission."

_Breathing out with relief, Unohana smiled slightly more than she had previously, which had a calming affect on him. _

"That's great!" A man's voice said from behind him

_Hanataro yelped when the back of his uniform pulled against his throat and he nervously squirmed about as he was dragged across the wooden floor. Looking about through his thrashing, Hanataro caught a glimpse of blonde hair._

"Iemura-sama?" Hanataro yelped"What's going on?"

_If he had paid attention to what his captain had been **saying**, rather than drooling over her fig- _

"Please stop saying those things about me…that's not what I was doing!!" Hanataro exclaimed even louder now.

"What the heck are you blabbering about, Hanataro?" The dark bespectacled man grumbled.

_Finally letting go of the other Shinigami's collar, he prepared a Hell Butterfly, which were more often than not used for one particular purpose._

"Iemura-sama, uh, could you explain to me what my mission is…again?"

"What, you weren't paying attention to what Unohana-taicho already told you?"

"Uh…er…" _Too embarrassed to respond, Hanataro kept silent and sighed. _"Don't I have to-"

"Enough talk, timing is essential for your mission, remember?" Grabbing the small Shinigami's collar again, Iemura tossed Hanataro through the portal, and couldn't help but grin over it. "You better not have forgotten where to meet Kuchiki-san!!"

_The last words from the blonde man echoed in Hanataro's mind as he yelped from being tossed into the portal. The door closing behind him, Hanataro whimpered slightly from the impact of his landing. Even with his Shinigami status, it would be a perilous journey for him, especially since the dark colored insect fluttered about without him, towards the other side of the dimensional bridge._

"Oh, wait a moment please!" Hanataro yelped when he heard this. Hurrying to catch up with the butterfly, he nearly forgot his sword on the ground. Rushing back to the sheathed sword, then returning to the butterfly's side, he sighed as his paced slowed down to match the insects'. "At least I don't need someone to tell me that!" he mumbled to himself.

Hanataro even cracked a slight smile over the lack of a response, and merely followed the butterfly towards the end of the dimensional bridge.

_The paper doors staring back at him were a mixed blessing. For one thing, they allowed him to leave the not-so-aesthetic in-between dimension he was currently in, and he could finally breathe in the open air under the bright blue sky. On the other hand, by passing through those doors, Hanataro would also be cast into whatever mission he unwittingly volunteered for…Of course, it was a mission that made his Captain smile, and that was something worth doing, wasn't it?_

"Could…could you stop that?" Hanataro spoke to the empty ceiling above him. "I would really like to finish this mission as quickly as possible…"

_Not paying attention to his surroundings once again, Hanataro had no idea that he was about to-_

Stopping in his tracks, Hanataro exhaled sharply and waved his arms about, in order to retain his balance. "That was close…" He said to no one in particular. Carefully sliding the door open, Hanataro stepped out, he gasped in amazed astonishment at the bright sun shining down.

_Forgetting where he was for the moment, he smiled and jumped with glee at the amazing sight of the real world around him. Not even once thinking about his dire mission. _

"Oh yeah…" Hanataro quickly remembered. "Iemura-sama said something about-"

"H-Hanataro-san?" _A female voice gasped in disbelief._

"Hmm?" _turning to face the voice, Hanataro came face to face with Rukia Kuchiki, adopted sister of Byakuya Kuchiki, and unseated member of the Thirteenth Squad. _

"O…Ohaiyo, Kuchiki-sama?" Hanataro whimpered.

"Hanataro, just call me Kuchicki-s-" _-her dark hair complimented her creamy skin, which looked very nice dressed in that school uniform._

"Oh, uh…" _Her large violet eyes shined brightly in the sun like a clear pool of water. Despite her social ranking, her modest demeanor was the most attractive part of her…considering the Shinigami uniforms weren't so form fitting…with exception to Nemu Kurotsuchi…or Rangiku Matsumoto…perhaps if Rukia wore something similar… _

"Aiyah!!!" _Hanataro yelped wildly at the thought, catching Rukia off guard._

"H-Hanataro-san…is there a problem with that, then?"

"Wh…what?" _panting nervously, Hanataro urged himself to look around to clear his thoughts. Feeling that the red stop sign across the street was a good start, he slowly inched his eyes back towards the other Shinigami, smiling nervously in an attempt to disarm her. _

"You're lucky you're helping me right now…" he mumbled under his breath

"Nani, Hanataro-san?"

"Oh, uh…a…problem with what, Rukia-sama?" _Remembering her wish, he stuttered slightly, somewhat flustered by the constant need to switch honorifics. _"I mean, Rukia-**san**!"

"…do you have a problem with attending school, as per your agreement?" _She said cautiously, aware of his high wired behavior. _

"High wired…?" he muttered under his breath. "a…agreement?"

"Hanataro-san…you're the one whom they sent on this mission, aren't you?" _Rukia asked him, wondering about Sereitei's seriousness in the matter. If they would send someone who didn't even volunteer, how was she supposed to trust that Hanataro would be able to provide proper aid and relief the next time a Hollow attacked?_

"O…OH!" _Hanataro, slowly remembering his distracted mission briefing with his Captain waved his hand around and smiled even more. _"Yes, of course! I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Oi, Rukia!" A slightly annoyed voice called from down the street. "What's taking you?"

"Hold on, Ichigo!" she called equally as annoyed to the approaching orange haired teenager. Glancing at her cell phone, her large violet eyes grew even wider.

"Rukia-san…what's the matter?" _She grabbed his arms roughly, tugging him behind her with excessive force. As she passed by the orange haired man, she grabbed onto his arm as well, until they were all running in the same direction. _

_They had only five minutes before school began, of course.

* * *

**Some words from the Typewriter** _

I hope that lives up to your expectations...if not, whoops...heheh...

I truly ask that you give 'critique' reviews for this story, and not just compliments or stuff like that. That way, this story will truly get better with every new chapter, and you guys can get a nice fic in return.

And from previous experience, please..._please _don't spam my review page...I will find out where you live and complain for a few minutes before leaving...

(I'm looking at **you, **_BrolyFTMFW!!_)

_**...legalites...**_

-All characters featured have been created by Tite Kubo

-This is a parody based on a certain movie premise...with this in mind, some walls may be broken througout this fic...(especially the fourth one)

* * *

P.S.

It's been a long (_2_) week(s), with a bunch of tests and my Finals coming up in May...At this point, I'm just trying not to fail in my classes...

...Thank you _**so** _much for reading...


	3. The first chapter

I have a Hiyori-centered Golden coming up at the end of one of my other fics...try to guess which one...

* * *

**Stranger than Fanfiction**

**-written by Typewriterman**

**-based on the story of Bleach, created by Tite Kubo**

_The chapter after the Introduction_

_The pudgy man flipped through the files upon his desk, looking back and forth with only his eyes; his head kept strangely still. The Shinigami was used to being in an office, as he reported to his Captain often. Although, Hanataro had to admit, he wasn't too used to sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair, while the man behind the desk sat in leather luxury. _

"Hanataro…Yamada?" _For a second, Hanataro didn't realize he was being addressed; the many books of the library-esqu shelf on the back walll kept his attention. As he thought about it, he began to wonder how he was supposed to survive such a dangerous mission after all. It was one thing to work at a convenience store with Ganju, but it was another to pretend to be a-_

"That's your name, correct? Hanataro Yamada?" Perking his head up in surprise, Hanataro mumbled slightly until settling into a nervous nod for the principal. His attention was paid towards the man's strange pointy haircut and beard and but finally noticed that he wasn't the one speaking.

"Huh?" _Somehow without ever noticing, a large and muscled man was standing next to the desk; his muscle shirt loose and opened up to his arms, despite the increasingly chilly weather of the coming fall. Hanataro felt the light breezes cooler than before, even while wearing the borrowed long sleeved shirt from Ichigo._

"Now, Mr. Yamada…" the bulky man started again, "it seems that your paperwork is in order, although I only have one question to ask…"

"And that would be?" Hanataro gulped at the man's stipulation.

"Why is it that it took you so long to report here, three periods in fact, when it is known procedure to arrive here before school starts?" He, for lack of a better word, growled. "Hmm, Mr. Kurosaki?"

"Why is he only picking on me?" Ichigo grumbled softly. "-oof" the orange haired boy grunted, as a small elbow connected to his gut.

"We are so sorry, Mr. Kagine…" Rukia began, her voice soft, and cracked slightly. "Ichigo only volunteered to wait with me, for my cousin, Hanataro." A small handkerchief appeared in her hand, and she dabbed it slightly under her eyes as if to wipe away (imaginary) tears. "You see," she sniffled, "I never thought he would be late, and I was so happy to see my cousin after not seeing him for so long…"

_The bulky teacher began stammering, unsure on how to react to the girl's believable acting. The principal, on the other hand, wearing his dark glasses and unfazed demeanor, looked dead._

"Acting?" Hanataro unwisely commented, immediately drawing the large man's attention back to him. He yelped when the large gym teacher's eyes focused on him, then realized the slight tears building in his eyes.

"Mr. Yamada…" the large man sniffled, "here's your uniform." He immediately dropped a medium sized cardboard box into Hanataro's lap, and began walking out of the room. "Take your time getting to my class, Ms. Kuchiki, Mr. Yamada….Kurosaki!" his trembling voice suddenly changed to a stern commanding tone, "you're going to detention for being la-" he began saying, but exclaimed loudly at seeing the three chairs void of the three students. "Wha!? Not again!!" he cursed, as he saw the three running away down the field from the open window.

"Hmm, oh, where did Ms. Rukia and those two boy get to already?" the suited man yawned at his chair. "I hope they're off to class…wouldn't want to scuff up their attendance records…"

--

"Are…are you sure it's supposed to be like this?" Hanataro stammered uncomfortably.

"Hanataro…" Rukia tried not to laugh, "Your uniform's…"

"Was that all that was in the box?" Ichigo asked curiously.

"Well, uh…" _Within the box that he was given, there were only two things; a full female uniform, and a single pair of men's pants. Given the selection, and the lack of knowledge of the school dress code, Hanataro ended up mixing the two uniforms. _ "…Oh…" he sighed embarrassed. "I guess I should just go change back to those regular col-"

A firm grip latched onto his shoulder before Hanataro could even touch the small red bow tied at his collar. "No you don't…" the large man growled. "The school dress code is a strict one, and although yours is a mixed uniform, it is still a uniform…"

"But Mr. Kagine…" Rukia tried again, but the large man used his hand to block his eyes from the small girl's watery ones.

"Nope…not going to fall for that again, Ms. Kuchiki…" he announced. "Your cousin is a special case, since we won't be receiving any new uniforms until the end of this semester. He'll just have to tough it out like a man…" he said, finally letting go and backing away so that Rukia's eyes couldn't affect him.

"He actually believed you two are related?" Ichigo scoffed, until a firm grip latched onto his shoulder.

"Of course, it says so in Mr. Yamada's paperwork…" the large gym teacher said, his gorilla-like hand still blocking the view towards the small girl. "As for you, Kurosaki…I'm tired of you abusing the school dress code with your sloppy tie..." Without answering, Ichigo grabbed onto the small shoulders of the small girl standing across from him, picked her up with ease and placed her into the direct view of the man, who gasped in surprise at the action.

His grip instantly loosened on Ichigo's shoulders, as he stuttered at the girl's guilt inducing gaze. "Damn…it…" he stuttered, paralyzed by her big violet eyes until the end period bell rang.

"See you again tomorrow for physical education class, Mr. Kagine…" Rukia bowed politely, turned and ruthless kicked Ichigo in the shin. Wrapping an arm around his neck as he toppled to the ground, she dragged the injured boy down the hallway, Hanataro close behind. "Come on Hanataro, before we're late for our next class."

As the two walked down the hallway (Ichigo was still being dragged), they passed by several classrooms, of which their windows were wide open on their way to their own class. Washing one of these windows, a bespectacled brunette armed with a wet rag wiped away the dirt and dust on one said window. Two students passed by her, one she instantly recognized as the sweet and adorable Rukia Kuchiki, but the other….

"Well hello, new girl…" Chizuru purred to herself.

* * *

**Some words from the Typewriterman**

I went to a shooting range today...it was friggin awesome!!

Muahahaha, yeah, the uniform thing...one of the first gags I thought up when I came up with this story...wait till what else I thought up...

**_legalities- _**Hanataro belongs to everyone, don't you think so?

...All other characters belong to Tite Kubo


	4. The second chapter

As you can see, this chapter is a bit different than the one I had previously posted a while back...

* * *

_**Stranger than Fanfiction**_

**-written by Typewriterman**

**-based on the story of _Bleach_, created by Tite Kubo**

_The chapter after the first one_

_Who knew that it would be that easy to be taken as a high school student? Was it possible for _anyone _to just start taking classes here? Hanataro sat literally on the edge of his seat, wary that no one was talking to him. He stared down to the desk, rereading the kanji of his name on the book cover over and over again. _

_Sneak…sneak…sneak…_

_Hanataro quickly turned in his seat, only to see a few students sitting quietly at their desks, chatting. They were quite far from where he sat, although at this point, he couldn't be too sure._

_Sneak…sneak…sneak…_

_He looked forward this time, and jumped backwards in his chair. While still on the ground, Hanataro panted heavily, still trying to get the amazingly scary image out of his head. _

"Oh, sorry, was I that close?" Chizuru daintily placed a finger on her bottom lip. "Here, let me help you up…" A hand immediately grabbed the bespectacled girl's collar and violently dragged her face to face with a teen with short raven hair.

"What did you do to Orihime, Chizuru!?"

"What was that, Tatsuki?" an auburn haired girl called from the other side of the class curiously.

"Oh…" Tatsuki breathed in embarrassment. She quickly let go of the red haired girl and mouthed her apology; something she never thought she'd do in her lifetime. Chizuru stuck her tongue out at the martial artist as her back was turned to her, and grinned at this small victory. Still on the ground, Hanataro eagerly took the girl's hand to get back to his feet.

He dusted off the female blouse and fixed the red bow at his collar, all the while smiling nervously at the embarrassing situation. "Sorry…" he said softly.

_Chizuru flashed a smile towards Hanataro, as if a hungry predator to its prey. Her eyes roamed up and down his body as if it were a piece of meat; her eyebrow was even arched as if thinking something devilish. _

"Um…Ms. Honsho, was it?" Hanataro gulped towards the slightly taller girl. "Is there…something on my face?" He asked naively towards her.

_So many things ran through her mind at that question that her mind had to reboot before answering back. _"Uh…What was that?" _She tried to ask politely. Noticing the cutely oblivious look on 'her' face, Chizuru looked about in an attempt to come up with idle chatter._ "So, uh…what's with the pants?" _She pointed towards Hanataro's mismatching article of clothing._

"Well, there was a bit of a uniform mix up, so I had to make due…" He awkwardly explained the situation. "Really, it was the only thing left from what they had available."

"Oh, so you're the uh…'Manly type'?"

"Me? M-manly?" Hanataro stuttered. "No one's called me manly, before…"

_Chizuru wanted to get closer; see how far she could push this situation more in her fav-_

"So, uh…" Hanataro chuckled even more nervously than before. He hadn't felt this jittery since the time he first met Yoruichi. "You're a…student…right…?" _He subconsciously hit his forehead at the question, though the redhead paid no mind and simply giggled it off._ "Huh?"

"Yeah, I am…" she answered girlishly. _With some casual sense of purpose, the girl toyed her finger around a strand of her short hair. At the sound of the bell, most of the students had all gone to their seats, although the teacher was still nowhere to be found. Feeling inspired, Chizuru turned to face the new student, and smirked devilishly again. She explained the seating arrangements, making sure that her new friend would have a seat right next to hers._

--

"Wow…Honsho is really gunning for that new girl…" from his seat, Keigo moped at the sight, wondering what this foreboding feeling was that he had about the new student that kept poking at the back of his brain. "Man, I knew I should've gone over to talk to her when I had the chance…"

"You're….not serious, are you?" Ichigo shuttered in disbelief at the chestnut haired boy, confused—and slightly revolted—about how this act of mistaken identity could take place.

"I'm sure he'll find out sooner or later, Ichigo…" the raven haired Mizuiro commented with arched eyebrows, displaying his own awkward feeling about this scenario with a small crack of a grin.

"…well, as long as it keeps her from harassing Orihime or anyone else, I'm fine with it…" Tatsuki stated matter-of-factly, "…but I still feel kind of bad for her, too…"

"I don't know…I'm happy that they've become good friends!" the orange haired and bubbly Orihime chirped in her thoughts on the matter. She glanced about cutely, but then quickly gave up, and returned to her doodling.

--

"Oh my…that was so…" Chizuru tried to keep from squealing loudly at the sight of Orihime looking about just a moment ago.

"When is the teacher expected to arrive?" Hanataro wondered, looking about the room curiously as well. It was a strange thing for this to happen, since he had read all about the Japanese school system being very poignant with being on time.

_Her radar spiked from his motions, immediately drawing Chizuru's attention back onto the meek-yet-somehow-masculine-looking student sitting at the desk next to her. There was no way she could keep it in any longer._

"…Ms. Honsho?" following up on his previous question, Hanataro turned back toward Chizuru too late as the girl pounced on him to the floor.

With a yelp and gasps of surprise from all the rest of the students watching in terror, the classroom door slid open to allow Ms. Ochi, teacher extraordinaire, in.

"Sorry I was late! I was catching up on this little project I'm working on…" Walking up to place her carrying bag behind the desk, the room itself halted to a strange quiet. Frozen silent by the awkward situation of Chizuru atop the other student, who hardly took any notice to the teacher's entering the room, the rest of the class waited patiently for the misconduct to be noticed. With fingers flinging about, Chizuru gave a tantalized, almost crazy stare as she wrestled to close in on the floored Hanataro.

For his part, Hanataro struggled to keep the girl off of him by holding her wrists at bay and using his bent knees to press against the writhing-girl's own legs from wrapping around him, while at the same time trembling in terror because of the teacher's sudden entrance. For all he knew, the other students were unable to lend him aid as they switched their stares between the front of the room and the scene taking place in the middle.

Satisfied with taking out the necessary things from her carrying bag, Ms. Ochi picked up her teacher's notebook before giving a simple quick glance rather than wasting her time calling out names for a proper attendance roll. "Well, it looks like you've all gotten a good chance to meet the new student." She said distractedly with a smile, shuffling about the desk in search of the previous week's test results. "I hope you learned their name, because it just might be an extra credit question on your next test!" she joked—unsuccessfully.

"Now remember, since it's in the middle of the semester, I expect you to be accommodating to help with the transitional process. It's an especially difficult time, since finals are coming up, you know…" She said while walking up and down the aisles of the classroom, not even noticing the dead silence of her normally rambunctious class.

"And that lucky student's name is…" she returned to her desk to pick up her teacher's notebook once again, clearly showing that she hadn't even taken the time to remember the one new student's name, herself.

Taking a second look at the updated student roster, Ms. Ochi paused for a moment before looking back out to the expectant class. She did this once more, looking down at the roster, before looking back out to the class. Blinking once, then twice, the woman gently placed the book onto the desk, and then finally turned to face the black board. "…now, let's get started, shall we?"

"WHAT!?" the room of students exploded in a single unified scream of disbelief.

* * *

**Some words from the Typewriterman**

It's been a while, hasn't it? Yeah…it has…

_**...legalities... **_I do not condone the molestation of Hanataro Yamada…I wholeheartedly _support_ it!

All characters belong to Tite Kubo


End file.
